Hamilton Sequel??

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For the last four years the Broadway musical Hamilton has been rapping its way into theaters across the country. If you’re lucky enough to win an actual lottery and see it, you’ll no doubt recognize the opening song written by the insanely talented Lin Manuel-Miranda. Well, not to be outdone, another Lin(da) is hard at work writing the sequel to the founding fathers’ audiobiography. Have a look at the lyrics to the Hamilton sequel: I’m a Hamilton Also!


KYLE REESE

How does a bastard, orphan, son-of-a Conn-or and a snot kid, dropped in the middle of a bad foster spot in East Los Angeles by providence obnox-i-ous and bothered grow up to be a hero and a martyr?

ATM robber, future soldier without a father, got a lot farther, he got a ro-bot partner, and he was a lot larger, he turned into John’s guarder, by 14 was placed in charge of rescuing his mother.

JOHN CONNOR (FUTURE)

And durin’ while humans were being ruined and losin’ and bruised (up in the future) he moved and kept his guard up. Then a liquid robot came looking to tear his heart up. T-1000 was ready to kill, murder, or manslaughter.

MILES DYSON

An atomic bomb came and devastation reigned on man, see our future drip dripping from the chain (link fence). Put a knife down on the table, connecting it to her brain. And John’s mother carved a phrase, “there’s no fate but what we make”.

DR. SILBERMAN

Well the word got around I said “this girl is insane, man!  Put her in a straight jacket and lock her ass away, man! Take her son away, don’t you let this girl explain.” But humanity rests on your name. What’s your name, girl?

LINDA HAMILTON

Linda Fucking Hamilton.  My name is Linda fucking Hamilton. I was the star of Terminator One. And Judgment Day; Judge-ment Day…

ROBOT WAR SOLDIERS

New film you still say “I’ll be back”… (Judge-ment Day)

New film you still say “I’ll be back”… (Judge-ment Day)

New film you still say “I’ll be back”…

In T-2…

LINDA HAMILTON

Judge-ment Dayyy!!!!

ROBOT WAR SOLDIERS

Linda Fucking Hamilton! (Linda Fucking Hamilton!) Humanity depends on youuuu. (Humanity depends on you). Don’t ever back down, even though nobody can change tiiiiiiiiime… Whooaa

Linda Fucking Hamilton! (Linda Fucking Hamilton!) The future’s lookin’ pretty bluuuuee. We know that you weren’t insaaane. But don’t shoot Dyson in the braaainnn, no no!

Don’t shoot him in the the brain.. whooooaaa

T-1000

Tell me have you seen this boy? Call me if you spot him. (beat) Another murder committed by T-1000. I’m made of liquid metal, killing me will be a problem.

TERMINATOR & JOHN

We fought with her.

KYLE REESE

Me, I died for her.

DR. SILBERMAN

Me, I don’t trust her.

JAMES CAMERON

I invented her.

T-1000

And me? I’m the cyborg that shot her.

ROBOT WAR SOLDIERS

You were the star of Terminator One, and Judgment Day. What’s your name, girl? Linda Fucking Hamilton!


Wow! I can’t believe they made a movie franchise based on time travel, which is completely impossible! Anyway, I am glad to see Linda is still getting work.

Jack Ritchey – 9/20/2018

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