Category Archives: Kevin White

Remember to Vote on November 6th

Well, its that time again. After two years of a truly wild news cycle now is your chance to do something. Go vote, if for no other reason, to reduce all those crazy news alerts that won’t stop popping up on your phone.

Don’t be like this guy, get out and vote!

Research your ballot and find your polling place here.

Ryan Doris, Kevin White, Gregg Roberson & Jack Ritchey – 11.05.2018

Leave a comment

Filed under Gregg Roberson, Jack Ritchey, Kevin White, Ryan Doris, Video

The 10 Best Places To Spend Your Summer Vacation (Number 3 Will Blow Your Mind!)

vacation

Summer is just around the corner, which means it’s time to pack some bags get out of town for a bit, and leave your troubles behind. Here are some of my top spots for a fun summer getaway!
10) Seattle, WA
The birthplace of grunge rock and Starbucks has more to offer than just flannel shirts and baristas that can’t ever seem to spell your name right. It’s also home to some of the best festival experiences in the country. Check out the Seattle International Film Festival, the Seattle International Dance Festival, or one of the longest running annual music festivals in America, Bumbershoot. Book a week in the Emerald City and you’ll be forgetting about your ex-girlfriend Karen sooner than you can say “Oh God, I miss Karen.”
9) Valle de Guadalupe, Mexico
A major departure from the Spring Break partying and endless shots of tequila that a lot of tourists go to Mexico for, Valle de Guadalupe is an up-and-coming wine country just a few hours south of San Diego. Perfect for seasoned wine enthusiasts and newcomers just seeking an affordable romantic getaway. Karen’s favorite wine was Malbec.
8) Bora Bora, French Polynesia
While it may be pricey, this island paradise will give you the type of getaway you’ll be more than happy you splurged on. Karen and I talked about coming here a lot. The promise of being pampered like royalty while being no more than a few steps away from a sandy beach sounded too good to be true, much like the love I thought Karen had for me.
7) Bloomington, IN
It might sound surprising, but this hidden gem is more than just a college town. This is also where Karen went to college.
6) Omaha, NE
Fun Fact: Karen grew up here! Be sure to swing by her mom’s house and see if anybody’s heard from her lately.
5) Bangkok, Thailand
Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen Karen
Karen’s apartment is easily one of the best places I’ve ever spent a summer. Even if you can’t get in, the view from the street is wonderful. Find a comfy spot in a tree or behind a bush, and take in the view through Karen’s window. Don’t get too cozy though, Karen (or her roommates) have been known to call the cops.
3) Karen
I want to live and die here.
2) San Juan, Puerto Rico
Not only does PR make for a great island getaway, but it’s also a great fit if you’re planning a trip on a budget and/or if you don’t have a passport since it’s a US territory. Still recovering from recent hurricane damage, now is the perfect time to visit as they could really use the money and while you’re there you can even volunteer to help rebuild. Even if you can’t make a trip right away, please donate here.
1) That Abandoned Hospital off RTE 49
I’ve found this place to be a fantastic fit for me and my needs whenever I have to “get away”, be it from pesky police telling me to stay away from Karen, or if I need some big empty walls to scribble my manifesto. This undisclosed location is quiet, discreet, and perfect for screaming at the moon. Grab yourself some old E.R. scrubs, some cotton balls, and make yourself a life-size Karen doll! Looks like you’re the little spoon tonight!
Well, that’s our list of top places to Karen your summer vacation. Did your favorite Karen make the Karen? Let us Karen in the comments below!
Kevin White – 5.21.2018

Leave a comment

Filed under Kevin White

Awkward: Two Porn Performers Discover They Actually Are Step-Siblings

Couple fight

SAN FERNANDO VALLEY, CA – In a scandal that has threatened to rock the very foundation of the sibling-porn industry, two adult performers, Brock Banger and Madison Marbles, learned they are step-siblings while making small talk in between scenes where they were simulating that very thing. “Like, when we were filming, I thought it was kind of hot. But now that it’s for real it’s kind of creepy, right?” Brock told us as he desperately tried to keep his penis erect. Madison had concerns of her own, “If I knew he was really my step-brother I never would have let him spit into my gaping asshole.” At press time production of the film Barely Legal Step Siblings was put on hold while the Assistant Director Googled California state laws to find if Brock and Madison’s scene was in fact illegal.

Kevin Casey White – 4.20.2018

Leave a comment

Filed under Kevin White