Pope Francis Decrees Hummus To Be Served With Body Of Christ

Hummus-n-Cracker-Snacker-47688

VATICAN CITY – Pope Francis has announced, in an effort to lure lapsed Catholics, that hummus will be served during Holy Communion. “I have been watching a lot of Kitchen Crashers, and must say, the Catholic Church really needs something to spark interest. Something besides smite. I thought to myself ‘what would Gordon Ramsay do? Since Holy Communion is the most important part of the Mass, I should start there. How can I improve upon this?’ And, much like how the Holy Spirit spoke to Paul, I was given the answer. Hummus. I’ve been calling it Eucharist 2.0. The thrill of scooping the Body of Christ through some garlic roasted, or edamame-mixed hummus – you know, like that one at Trader Joe’s – is very satisfying!” Pope Francis is working with Mega Chef Mario Batali in creating a fired-brimstone roasted red pepper flavor.

Keith Kolecki – 1.3.2018

Leave a comment

Filed under Keith Kolecki

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s