WASHINGTON – While haphazardly fishing for another Lime-a-rita in coolers at rooftop parties all across America this weekend, millions of the nation’s buddies proudly divulged that they are thinking about getting a ping pong table. “Yeah, now that we’ve cleared that old couch out of the basement I’m thinking about turning it into kindof a man cave. Ya know – ping pong, darts, maybe a beer fridge. You gunna come check it out after it’s done?” asked Jeffs, Dans, and Ians from coast to coast, adding that you should really come check it out after it’s done. “I started looking on craigslist to try and find an old school arcade machine. Like that KISS pin-ball machine? Or maybe some blacklight posters. That would be rad. So you gunna come check it out?” At press time sources were unable to confirm if any of the buddies have run these plans by the nation’s wives.
Jack Ritchey – 7.25.2017